Cort and Hammy

Nikki had been saving for weeks—every dollar from babysitting, every coin scrounged from the couch cushions. And finally, her dream had come true: two fluffy, squirmy teddy bear hamsters, Hammy and Peanut. She treated them like royalty, their cage set up like a palace with tunnels, wheels, and even a tiny dish for gourmet hamster pellets.

When Nikki heard that her cousins, Cloe and Cort, were coming over, she was thrilled to show off her new pets. “They’re so cute,” she gushed. “They are gonna love them!”

The visit started off great. Cloe admired the hamsters while Nikki lectured about proper hamster care, like a professor of rodentology. Then Cort waddled over, his chubby little hands outstretched and his wide toddler eyes full of wonder. Nikki hesitated but finally handed Hammy to him, under strict supervision.

“Be gentle,” she said, her voice trembling like she’d just handed him a priceless artifact.

Cort stared at Hamy in fascination, his little fingers awkwardly clutching the furry creature. Everything seemed fine… until it wasn’t.

Out of nowhere, Cort let out a high-pitched holler. His face twisted into an expression of shock and betrayal as he dropped Hammy onto the floor.

“AHHHH!” he wailed.

The room went still. Everyone stared at the motionless Hammy on the carpet. Nikki gasped and scooped him up, but it was too late. Hammy had passed on to the big hamster wheel in the sky.

But that wasn’t all. Cort was holding his finger and sniffling, clearly nursing a bite.

“What happened?!” Nikki screeched, cradling Hammy like a fallen soldier.

Cort frowned and shook his head. Then he nodded. Then he pointed at Hammy.

“Bite!” he declared, his limited vocabulary doing its best.

“Wait a second,” Cloe said, squinting at the scene. “Did Hammy bite Cort so he squished him or did Cort squish him so Hammy bit Cort?”

“Bite!” Cort repeated, now pointing at himself.

“Bite!” he added, pointing at Hammy.

It was a toddler’s version of “the chicken or the egg,” and we were no closer to the truth.

Nikki, however, didn’t need answers. She glared at Cort like a wild mama bear protecting her cub. “He killed Hammy!” she accused, her voice shaking with fury.

I stepped in quickly, scooping up Cort before Nikki could act on her hamster revenge. “Cort’s just a baby,” I said, trying to calm the storm. “He didn’t mean to—whatever happened!”

“I should squish him to join Hammy!” Nikki growled.

“Whoa, whoa!” I said, stepping between them. “Nobody’s squishing anybody!”

The tension finally broke as we calmed Nikki down, we explained that Hammy was in Heaven and we would go to the pet store and get her another one. With that Nikki , Cloe and Cort were all off to the backyard to give Hammy a proper shoebox burial.

One thing’s for sure: Nikki never let Cort near Peanut. Ever.